Giving the most powerful gift

The most powerful thing about a question is not the answer that you hear but the thinking it provokes in the other person.

A question that doesn't make the other person think is purely for your benefit, because they already have the answer at their fingertips.

However, a question that makes them really think starts a process that may or may not complete while you are still in conversation with them.

Maybe later that day, or a week or even a month later, their subconscious will bring an answer to the surface that completely changes their perspective on something important to them, or even changes their perspective on life.

The most powerful question is also often the dumbest question. It's a question asked from curiosity about what it's like in that other person's world, and it assumpes nothing.

Sometimes a question can be the most powerful gift that other person has ever received.

That and your listening.

Getting there the old way

I was speaking to my Mum yesterday about her family and she told me that she didn't know a lot about her father's side of the family. All she knew was that her grandfather came from Cirencester and apparently used to be a coachman.

I found this story rather amusing, what with me being a coach and obviously me being a man too.

So I guess you could say that I am a coach man.

Then I started thinking about what it was that my great grandfather actually did beyond his title.

It occurred to me that what he did was to help transport people from where they were at the time to wherever it was they wanted to go.

Wait a minute I thought, that does sound very similar to what I do.

How was my great grandfather able to do this for his customers? Well, apparently he did it by adding horsepower to help them reach their goal either a lot quicker than they would otherwise, or because they would never have got there without it.

Funny old world isn't it!

Technology may have changed, but are things completely different when you strip everything else away?

When is just another run not one?

What do I write when my morning run was just another run, with no amazing new insights, no brand new thoughts, nothing that leapt out at me as being any different today from any other day?

But then again was it just another run on just another day?

Actually, today was my 762nd consecutive morning run. It's the only 762nd consecutive morning run I will likely ever have.

It's the only 1st February 2012 I, or anyone else, will ever see.

There are things that I may notice, things that I may think, things that I may feel today that I've never noticed, thought or felt before.

I've certainly never blogged these words before.

If I'd known that this morning was going to be my last ever run what would I have done differently?

I would have probably really paid attention to how I felt in my legs, in my chest and in the rest of my body.

I would have probably really paid attention to the feeling of breathing in and out the cold morning air.

I would probably have savoured every moment of the run and tried to experience it fully though all my senses.

How could a run like that ever be the same as any other one?

Listen for your full magnificence

I’m definitely feeling the after-effects of my 14.5 mile run this morning, 4.5 more than I’ve done since last June.

Such a long run gave me plenty of thinking time this morning. One of the things I thought about was a concept I was introduced to during my coaching certification course, the concept of listening for other people's full magnificence.

As a coach I am always listening, and looking, for my clients' full magnificence, that part of them that is inspired by everything that's possible, by their dreams and their knowledge of what's truly important to them.

I'm always looking to coach that part of my clients and not the inner critic part that is focused on their limiting beliefs and all the reasons why they just aren't quite good enough as they are.

I love the concept of us all having a side of us that holds our full magnificence. It's the part of us that causes things to happen, creates excellent relationships and is full of gratitude for all that we have in our lives.

It doesn't spend any time on what we think we're lacking. That's definitely the job of our inner critic.

What would it be like to listen for your full magnificence?

And when you find it, make sure you feed that part of you, not the other one.

Believe and it will be

When I was 7 years old I couldn’t swim so my parents sent me to swimming classes at our local swimming pool.

At the start of my first swimming lesson the instructor told me that I could already swim, at which point I jumped into the pool, out of my depth, and proceeded to swim a width.

It wasn’t pretty. I swallowed quite a bit of water and had to be helped out of the pool on the other side, but I had indeed swum.

Since that moment I have always been able to swim.

What happened between the time that I couldn’t swim and the time that I could?

What happened is that someone, who I trusted and who carried enough authority that I believed what he said, told me that I could do it.

After that, there were two defining moments. In the first moment I believed that I could swim. In the moment that followed I acted on my belief and at that moment I became a swimmer.

What is there that you currently believe you can’t do, and yet that belief just may not be the truth?

What would it take for you to change that belief?

Is there someone who you trust and who carries enough authority who could help you to change that belief?

That person is a coach, whether they know it or not.