The gift of obstacles

I had no idea what I was going to write on my run this morning, until my thoughts went back again to some of the amazing inspiring people I met at the 21st Century Legacy event I attended on Wednesday.

What is common about all really inspiring people for me is their incredible belief and persistence and triumph over adversity that would defeat us lesser mortals.

And then I got to thinking that maybe they weren't always exceptional people who were destined to triumph over every obstacle in their path.

Maybe they were ordinary people who became extraordinary by deciding to take on and overcome their obstacles, whatever it took.

In Matthew Syed's excellent book Bounce, he explodes the talent myth and builds a convincing case that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become exceptional at any complex skill.

It's meeting, challenging and overcoming our obstacles that turns us from ordinary people into extraordinary people whose stories have the power to inspire others and lift them to beyond where they thought they could go.

What obstacles will you welcome and meet head on today?

Never ever give up

I had the privilege of being at an event with a number of Olympians and Paralympians for 21st Century Legacy yesterday.

The message that came across time and time again was to have a dream, to know where you want to go, to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, to realise that you always have a choice in what to do next, and to never, ever, ever give up.

As Winston Churchill famously said,

"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

The trap of others' problems

I had a flash of realisation on this morning's run that at one point on my workshop on Monday I got caught in the deadly trap of trying to solve one of the participant's problems.

It's an easy one to get caught in. As humans, we have an almost instinctive reaction that takes us to immediately to trying to solve others' problems.

In my experience, it's far more valuable to help another person explore their problem a bit deeper by asking questions than leaping straight in with your own ideas.

Quite often the problem that's on the surface turns out to be just a symptom. By asking questions, you help others to get to the root of the issue, and solve it themselves.

A far more useful thing to do.

And yet, I know I'll get caught in the trap again sometime.

The trick is to catch myself sooner.

Step outside your comfort zone

On this morning's run, I was conducting a post mortem in my head of the workshop I ran yesterday.

There were several things that I picked up that I would like to do better, including the overall effect of the workshop.

During the workshop we did an exercise on our comfort zones, what keeps us in them, what's available to us when we step out of them, and what helps us to be able to step out of them.

Running workshops themselves is outside my comfort zone, they both scare me and excite me.

But what has been great about this morning is that I have resisted the temptation, that I have so often succumbed to in my life to date, to beat myself up because I stepped outside my comfort zone and I fell over.

I gave myself a score out of 10 on how I did yesterday, I have set myself a target out of 10 for the next workshop I'm running next Friday, and I thought about what I need to do differently to achieve that.

And what's great is that I'm really excited and looking forward to the next one, and even wishing it was sooner.

What helps you step outside your comfort zone, and how can you make it safer to fall and get back up again quickly?

Are you really listening

On my run this morning I was thinking about my opening introductions to the workshop I'm running today .

One of the stories I thought of telling was the time when I was sitting in a workshop just over 12 years ago, when the workshop leader asked, "Are you a good listener, or have you stopped listening and you're just waiting for a gap to say what you want to say?"

I was shocked because that was exactly what I did, and I had no idea. I thought that was listening.

I had always thought that I was a good listener, precisely because I didn't interrupt people, I always "heard" them out.

But what I realised in that moment was that as soon as I heard something that I didn't like or agree with, or something they said sparked an interest in me, my real listening stopped and I was off in my head thinking of me and my interests, judgements and opinions.

That was a real eye opener (or do I mean ear opener for me) and something that has made an incredible difference to my life, including what I do to make a living.

Are you really listening, or are you just listening to your own opinions about what someone else is saying?