Is this about me?
Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 01:50AM My last run in Manchester completed.
It's very different running over the top of a motorway every morning compared to my normal run along unmade up roads full of potholes, where it's unusual to meet someone walking a dog at six in the morning. The M60 has cars shooting along it at six o'clock I can assure you.
On my run, I was thinking about a comment one of the participants on my workshop made yesterday. He said that he didn't like confrontation or upsetting people, and that he was too soft.
I recognised this quality in myself, but what I realised on my run this morning is that, for me at least, when I'm in that space, the person I really don't like upsetting is me.
We, or I, fool ourselves into thinking that we are too nice and kind to deliver a tough message to someone because we don't want to hurt them.
If I needed a tough message to be delivered to me, what would I prefer?
Would it be someone who delayed giving it to me because they didn't want to hurt me?
Would it be someone who wrapped the message up in so much cotton wool (metaphorically obviously) that I didn't really understand the message?
Or would it be someone who delivered the message clearly, concisely to me, with empathy, and with complete honesty?
I know that I would prefer the latter every time.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about upsetting people for fun, but where they need to hear the message to be able to move forward or progress.
So, I'm going to stop telling myself I'm too nice and I don't like to upset people when I know that it's me I don't like to upset.
Once again, the question for me to ask is, "Is this about me or them?"