The unlived life

What a glorious Good Friday.

I think my cold is on its way out, and if I hadn't had a tight deadline this morning I would have loved to expand my mile-and-a-third into a two, three or even five-miler.

I read something that I really like in one of the many different books that I'm dipping in and out of at the moment, this one is "The War of Art - Winning the Inner Creative Battle" by Steven Pressfield. I'm reading it on the Kindle application on my iPhone, which I'm quite enjoying using.

The phrase that I like is "Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance".

I identified with this immediately.

For most of my adult life, this phrase was, and also felt very strongly that it was, an almost uncanny description of my life.

These days I wouldn't have said it was true, until when I thought about it a little more, I realised that, while not as extreme as it used to be, there is still some truth in this for me.

I remember when I wrote me very first coaching tip back in 2004, I titled it "If I'm doing what I love, how come it's scary" (I hadn't got the hang of shorter clearer titles in those days).

I had an expectation back then that when I'd been coaching for a while and felt that I'd really got it, then it wouldn't be scary.

Now I know that scariness is actually a measure of how well I'm doing. If I'm not scared, then I am too comfortable, I'm simply retreading the well-trodden path without thinking too much, I don't have the energy of pushing past my own boundaries.

Scariness is good, and should always be there to keep me on my toes.

But while I'm living much more of my unlived life now, there is still more of it as yet unlived. And resistance is absolutely what is stopping me living it.

In the last few days I have been becoming more aware of what I think this unlived part of my life is.

My next step is to recognise my resistance, challenge it head on, and welcome the extra scariness that will come with pushing past it.

As Steven Pressfield says, in another of his books that I'm reading, I have to "Do the Work"!

Being Tony

I enjoyed a lie-in this morning and went out for a little over 2 miles. Weather cloudier today, but pretty warm. All in all a really nice run.

On my run this morning, David Hemery's quote "There is a spark of greatness in everyone" crossed my mind, as well as the phrase "Draw a line in the sand" from the excellent book ReWork, which is one of several that I'm juggling with reading at the moment.

I do believe that there is a spark of greatness in everyone. That greatness may not mean world records, fame, or acclaim, but nevertheless it's in there.

Drawing a line in the sand is about deciding what you stand for and not compromising on that in any way, shape or form.

My ruminations on my run led to the thought that I stand for that spark of greatness in everyone, and my line in the sand should be about acting from my chosen side of that line always.

Do I do that now? No, I don't think so.

Do I do it a lot? Yes, I think I do.

My challenge, and it is a challenge, is to be able to do that every single time and in every single moment.

Will I achieve it? Probably not every single time, like when I'm tired, upset, sad, sick or overwhelmed.

But when I fail, my challenge is to redraw that line in the sand, this time even deeper and recommit a hundred per cent.

I think that acting from my chosen side of the line of greatness is where my greatness lies.

And that for me is what Being Tony is all about. That is what it means for me to be true to myself.

Five more days

Out late last night, so this morning's nine miles were quite a challenge.

No overtaking anyone today.

I also haven't run more than two miles a day since last Sunday, which added to the morning's challenge.

Anyway, four weeks today until the half marathon, and five more days until I'll have completed 400 days of running a mile each day.

Game of 2 halves

Wish I could shake off this cough that has followed on from last week's cold.

I have only been doing the minimum distance apart from a gentle 5K I did with Nicky on Sunday. I think that the October marathon is looking very unlikely right now, and yet the vision of an eventual ultra still remains strong. Who knows exactly what and when, but it doesn't feel like it matters right now.

I did some preparatory work on foot toughening on Monday, walking barefoot on the stony beach - really quite painful.

Today has been like the proverbial football (soccer) match, a game of two halves. I was struggling with a problem that needed to be resolved today and couldn't see a way through this morning. The result - reduced energy, feeling of me on my own against the world, inspiring vision evaporated, only able to see two to three feet in front of me.

By this afternoon, I had taken the problem apart piece by piece and addressed each small chunk individually and dealt with it. Result - energy supercharged, I'm back in alignment with the rest of the world, excited by the endless possibilities (and heard some positive news about a new business opportunity), and I'm now physically looking across the tops of the trees at the vast and amazing sky from my desk.

Talk about the power of the inner game being so much more critical than the external one. I think so!

Happy Birthday Cyd!!

Flat lining

I'm finding it harder to find something different to say about running a mile each day.

Today I ran five and a half miles and I'm pretty shattered. That doesn't feel like it bodes well for bigger challenges, but then again I know that we all go through cycles of good and bad days, or even weeks. I guess today is one of my dips.

Having conversed again with coach "Mad Dog" Mike Schreiber, I also feel rather flat because he believes I need to do a lot more groundwork before considering a marathon. Mind you after this morning, I think he could well be right.