On being true to yourself

I met a good friend of mine, who worked for me as my coach a couple of years ago, yesterday at the Festival Hall, overlooking the Thames in the sunshine.

It really was glorious.

Anyway, when I was talking to him about my current strapline for my business, he pulled me up on it, saying that it didn't sound compelling because it didn't come out of me with conviction.

He reminded me of my very first strapline, which was "coaching people who hate to work", and how much truer to me that sounded when I spoke it then, and even still does now.

Once he pointed it out, I realised how right he was.

It's not easy to be true to yourself, particularly when you read something and you think, "Oh, that sounds good".

Before you change and adopt someone else's words, dreams or vision, make sure you check in to see whether you just think it just sounds good, or whether it's really you.

Thanks Antony, you're still a fab coach!

A little a day

This morning at the end of my run, looking at the time I took, I realised that the past few mornings I've started getting slightly faster.

Now, I'm talking dipping under ten minute miles here, so I'm not exactly talking fast, but it's a time I haven't been able to get to since my knee injury in June.

But the point is I hadn't really noticed the change. It was only when checking my GPS watch device that I realised that there had been a shift.

When you do something consistently day after day, each day on its own is not a big deal, but the cumulative effect does make a big difference.

As stated in the excellent books Bounce and Outliers, it takes somewhere near 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery in any complex activity or sport.

So, if there's something that you want to get better at, my formula is a little every day will make a real difference, eventually.

Have a nice day

Three people, all walking dogs, said "Good morning" to me this morning on my run.

There are two types of people, those that say "Hello" or "Good morning", and those that don't.

Actually that's not really true.

What is true is that we can all sometimes be in the mood or the space to notice others and say "Good morning", and sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own world, that someone speaking to us is an unwelcome interruption, which we ignore.

I know that many British people don't like the North American habit of saying "Have a nice day", because they think that it is just an automatic response and as such is insincere.

Having lived in Canada for nine years of my life, I don't see it that way. I like it.

In most cases, although people do say it automatically it still comes across as sincere to me.

Take politeness in general. When we hold the door for someone or give up our seat for an elderly person or a pregnant woman, or say "please" or "thank you", those are also automatic responses that we have been taught.

But it still makes us stop and think, however briefly, of another person.

Someone saying "Good morning" to me, especially presented with a smile, can give my whole day a lift.

It creates a connection, however brief, and lifts my spirits.

So the next time you pass someone when you're out, let go of your inner concerns for a few seconds, notice the person and wish them a "Good morning", or afternoon or evening.

You might just make their day.

You might even make yours.

And by the way, do have a nice day. Yes, really.

The moral of the headlights

On my run this morning in the dark, a car's headlights coming round the corner, on the unmade up road I was running on, lit up the trees and bushes along the side of the road showing me the beautiful oranges, yellows and reds of the autumn colours.

It made me think of the analogy of how someone in a good mood can light up a room, raising the whole energy of the room.

We all have the ability to shine a light on others or to dim their lights.

Acknowledging someone, encouraging them, showing them potential they didn't know they had, being a champion or supporter for them, or simply giving them our full attention are all ways in which we help shine a light on others and give them energy.

Conversely ignoring them, criticising them, pulling the rug from under their dreams, pointing out all their worst points will dim the light that's on them and will help drain their energy.

What can you today to shine a light on someone else to help them release their potential?

This is how it should be

I managed to let go yesterday.

A request was made of me that, at the time, felt inconvenient, and it wasn't how I had planned to be spending the next hour or so.

So why didn't I say no?

Because I felt guilty at saying no. Probably because I usually do say no.

So, I said yes. At first it was a bit begrudgingly, but I decided to try and let go of that because I knew that I wouldn't be able to be present if I didn't.

And do you know what?

I really enjoyed it.

When I fail to let go, I spend the entire time in "this isn't how it should be" mode, and I'm right.

But what isn't how it should be is me holding on to that righteous feeling of justification and indignation.

As soon as I let go of that yesterday, it was exactly how it should be, and I had a great time.

Maybe I was able to let go because I'd just watched Louie Schwartzberg's presentation and film on gratitude.

Take a look, it might help you to let go too.